Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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