You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
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Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
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I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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