Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Princesses don't give blow jobs
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
My liver just had a heart attack.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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