An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize