did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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