will power is for people who don't want to get laid
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize