found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize