dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
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Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
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No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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