i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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