you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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