i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
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