Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
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