I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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