Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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