I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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