Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize