I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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