did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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