fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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