C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
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Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
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I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
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