running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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