She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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