Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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