Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
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I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
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so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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