can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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