whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
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