My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
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