I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
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That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
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Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize