i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize