Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize