my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
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