Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
My dick has a subreddit
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
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