He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
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Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
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Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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