Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize