I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
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