Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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