fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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