SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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