those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
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Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
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I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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