week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize