I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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