Buhtt sex?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
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My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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