did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
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