Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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