Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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