You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize