i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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