he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize