need another drink. this is the easiest way
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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