I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
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it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
soo... how was my night?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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