margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
worst night to have a conscience
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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